M L Gammella’s Picture Choice: Both
I remember as a small girl, I wanted nothing more than to be a boy. My favorite music was sung by boys and I wanted to be just like them. I begged my mom to cut my long, light brown hair into a shaggy boy’s cut. She cried that day but I was ecstatic.
Once I finally looked like my idols, I wrapped myself in a leather jacket with my favorite band and cruised the music shop. So many kids my age were listening to their Walkmans and boomboxes, buying music on tapes or listening to the radio. I refused to be like them.
I preferred vinyl. The music just sounded better. There was an organic quality to it what I loved. I didn’t know how to describe it in those terms back then, I just knew I liked it.
I still prefer vinyl. The only thing better is listening to music live.
The biggest difference between then and now?
I no longer want to be a boy. I discovered that female rockers were strong and mighty but still feminine. I looked at myself and realized that I could be a girl, a woman, and still be strong. I grew my hair out, wore make-up, and discovered leather miniskirts.
The power of a miniskirt was a surprise. Out at a concert, every man in the club couldn’t take their eyes off of me. I never felt so empowered, or so feminine in my life. That was the first big step among many towards my awakening.
I still had that little leather jacket I wore as a little girl. I take it out once in awhile and remember that little girl who was trying to find herself. The journey was long but so rewarding.
M L Gammella lives in Ohio with her husband and their three pets. She is currently working on her first novel, a paranormal suspense based in Maine. Please follow her at @MLGammella and visit her website at Onward to the Written Word.