Monday, July 23, 2012

Jen DeSantis Week 5: Secrets

Picture 1

Picture 2

Jen DeSantis’ Choice: 2

Title: Secrets

“Momma says we don’t go in there anymore.” Rebecca twirled her pigtail around her pudgy finger and popped her gum. “She said it was a bad place.”

“Well, that’s just dumb.” Grace rolled her eyes. “Places can’t be bad. Only people can.”

“That’s definitely not what Momma said.”

“Look,” Grace said, pointing at the door. “It looks so old and full of secrets. Let’s just take a look, okay?”

“She didn’t say anything about looking.” Rebecca didn’t look as sure of herself. She looked more curious than anything.

The girls inched closer to the door. Grace placed her palm against the center of the wood panel, but yanked it back with a hiss.


She gave her sister a toothy grin and shook her head. “You’re so easy. I was playing with you.”

Rebecca punched Grace in the shoulder and called her a rude name. “I swallowed my gum I was so scared!”

Grace chuckled again. She pointed at the keyhole and both girls grew silent. They pushed each other back and forth as they tried to decide who would look first. Rebecca, being the largest, won out and she placed her small, round face against the old door and peered within.

Her back grew stiff and straight as she stared silently. Grace tapped at her shoulder, trying to get her sister out of the way, but it had no effect on Rebecca. She continued to peer through the hole, wordlessly.

“Come on, you big brat! Move!”

Rebecca’s shoulders began to quiver and her hands slapped violently against the wood on either side of her face.

“Stop it,” Grace said, pushing at Rebecca’s shoulder. “It’s not funny. Just let me see.”

Her voice gave way as the shudders moved down her sister’s back, undulating through her body. Still, her face remained plastered at the keyhole.

“Sissy?” she asked.

With a shrill cry, Rebecca stood up. She turned slowly toward her sister and Grace shrank backwards in fear. Rebecca looked the same, but there was something vacant in her eyes. Something was missing. Instead of looking into Grace’s eyes, Rebecca looked out into the distance, her brown eyes wide and dilated.

“Becca? What’s wrong?”

Rebecca’s eyes flicked over to Grace’s face and something flashed within their depths. Grace shrank back another two steps.

“Nothing, Grace,” she replied in a voice not her own. “Nothing at all.”

Rebecca took a step forward and Grace whimpered.

“There’s no such thing as a bad place, right, Grace?”

“Only people,” she whispered.


Jennifer DeSantis is a Horror and Paranormal Author and host of the #FridayPictureShow. She lives near Philly with her family. In her spare time is an aspiring ninja.



  1. Oh my goodness this is spooky!! Love how you brought the premise around - no bad places, only bad people! Eeeeeeek! :)

    1. Thanks! I'm glad it spooked you a little bit; that was definitely my intention. I wanted to tap into people's own imaginations to get them to scare themselves. :)

  2. This was - wow, this stuck with me. My imagination has a way of running away with it so I was thinking of all the kinds of things Becca could have seen. I still have the chills.

    1. Thanks, M! I'm so glad you liked it and that it gave you the chills. I'm even more pleased that it stuck with you. It accomplished everything that I was hoping for with you. Yay! :)

  3. Creepy. Not sure I want to know what she saw. My imagination is running away with my reason and sense.

  4. Creeptastic! Reminds me of that horror movie where you watch something and it changes you. Wonder what was behind that door...


  5. Huzzah! I love a good haunted house yarn and this one did not disappoint. Great atmospherics!

  6. It's hard to scare me on paper. I just don't think most people get the creepy factor right. But the way you described this was perfect--the image was terrifying: watching your sister spasm like that? Then to have her look at you like no one was home? Chilling. And to leave whatever was behind the door to the imagination? Perfect. You handled it excellently.